5 Keys For Creating A Happy “Spiritual Marriage”
My husband Miles and I have been blessed to find each other and create a marriage grounded in spirituality. Over the years, as we’ve walked our journey together, we’ve discovered five keys to a spiritual marriage that work for us.
What Is a Spiritual Marriage?
A spiritual marriage is one that honors the individuals as much as it honors the couple or the idea of marriage. Both people walk their own path at the same time, allowing each other the room to grow and providing space for each other. Our marriage provides a safe space for each other evolve, ascend, and connect with more light. Even if that means changing.
One thing we’ve heard when people talk about relationships is the idea, “Just return to that day when you first met. Treat each other like you first met.” But we know that we’ve grown more in love and that our relationship is more powerful now. We’ve evolved.
There are three stages of relationships (and stages of individual growth within relationships). Codependence, independence, and interdependence. When we met each other, we were bouncing somewhere between independent and codependent.
What we’ve done through building our business, life, and marriage together is create a new stage. We were very independent and now we’re in interdependence. Together, we are able to create more, with more power and light, than either of us attempting to create separately.
When we first met, we were both barely independent. We were out of college, wondering how to play the game of life. We didn’t want to play that game. We wanted to stay in the 5th dimension and meditate all the time.
We’ve grown into this new level. Now we support each other so much in what we’re doing. What we’re creating together is really cool. It’s bigger than either of us assumed would happen.
We Are Each Complete
Many people use the terminology, “your better half” or “your other half.” It’s the idea that we’re not complete. But we are; this is how we’re interdependent. It’s the same concept with candle flames. Separately, there’s so much light, but the moment you put them together, the flame that those candles create together is stronger and brighter than the flames individually.
Even though we’re twin flames, we are each complete beings. We stand in our own power and light and vibrantly shining. We live authentically as Melanie and Miles. Then we come together, and together our energy intertwines and becomes so powerful.
That’s what’s going on in a spiritual marriage. It’s not that one flame is keeping the other lit. It’s more of a convergence.
5 Keys to a Spiritual Marriage
When we first attracted each other into our lives, we were both listening to meditations for multiple hours a day. Miles, in particular, was not happy at that time and was just coming out of a dark night of the soul. The only respite was listening to isochronic and affirmation meditations. Some days listening for four or more hours a day.
We were both meditating and attribute that to bringing ourselves into vibrational alignment with each other. When we raised our vibrations to a certain point, we met!
About three years before we met, we were both on the same street in Denver, Colorado for New Year’s Eve. The universe gave us an opportunity to meet each other, but we were not in a vibrational alignment at that time. We were not in that twin flame, heart-centered place. In fact, we probably wouldn’t have liked each other because vibrationally, we weren’t in sync. But the universe gave us another opportunity to meet.
This is exactly what we mean when we talk about independence and interdependence. We have to take care of ourselves first by filling our cup up before we can overflow.
#2 Time in Nature
We spend a lot of time in nature together. We have a hobby of hiking together, and this often turns out to be an interesting kind of masterminding. We walk on the beach two or three times a day and talk about everything from politics, spirituality, light, ascension, marketing, and our emails!
We’re taking time, multiple times a day, to stay on the same page. We communicate consistently. We get out of the house, get away from all of our devices, and just communicate.
#3 Co-Create Together
Co-create something together. For us, it’s our business. For a lot of families, it’s a child. We’ve decided to pour our energy into something that we feel is bigger than us and that can contribute to the ascension process of the world. If we can get a million people a month listening to the meditations we create, we can have a positive shift in consciousness.
That’s how we’ve chosen to co-create. But it doesn’t have to be web-based or big. You could volunteer together or participate in a local group meditation. Just so long as you’re focused on something together where your unique personalities get to come through.
#4 Don’t Take Things Personally
If we find that we are taking something personally, we try to step back and say “Okay, I was triggered by that. That triggered a negative emotion in me.” When we can realize this, we always go back to our emotional release practices.
“What is my higher self trying to learn here? What internal imbalance am I being shown?” We don’t need to blame each other. Recognize that your partner is a mirror for you. If they’re acting in ways that you don't like and you find yourself judging them, realize that you’re being shown something about yourself.
Learn more about emotional healing here!
Relationships are some of the greatest mirrors and teachers. If you're experiencing challenges in your relationship right now, understand that as you grow, expand, and tune into more of your light you will clear out your emotional baggage, heal, and ascend. When you do, your relationships will reflect that back.
#5 Self-Work and Self-Love
Being married has been the most challenging and rewarding thing we’ve ever done. At one point, we weren’t as far along in our business as we’d hoped and had to move back in with Miles' parents. Though they were wonderful and supportive, it was a very challenging time. What we did in that situation was self-work. Self-work, self-work, self-work!
There’s always further; there’s always more exciting stuff coming, and the path always continues to unfold. Continue to focus on how you can be most authentically you and support your partner in doing the same. Ask each other how you can stand in your own light and truth and raise your vibration together. If you can do that, you’re magic.
Everyone, including you, has something special inside of them to share with the world. It can manifest in so many different ways. But realize it, honor it, meditate, and listen to that small voice inside.
When it comes down to it, what attracted us into each other's lives was, without a doubt, self-love. We independently brought ourselves into a state of self-love, raising our vibration to a point where we were ready for each other. Then the universe responded.
Keep loving yourself, keep doing the work, keep shining your light. This will have so many amazing benefits that ripple throughout all that is.
With love and gratitude,
Melanie and Miles